The Problem Isn’t Snakes. It’s Men.

Natalie Collins, our CEO, writes on the new government campaign

I like to think that I’m quite a robust person. For fifteen years, and across three decades, I’ve worked with women who’ve been subjected to abuse by men. Prior to that, as a teenager and young adult, I endured over four years of being raped and abused by a man who has now been deemed so dangerous that he is indefinitely in prison.

The women I work with are badass and brilliant, as are all the women who my ex-husband abused.  The photographs that often accompany stories of men’s violence; bruised women cowering in corners, shamed women hiding behind their hands, distressed women with tears trailing down their face, do not represent any of us. Most of us have survived the worst depravities men can perpetrate and still wake up in the morning, get dressed, find joy, and build lives worth living.  And those of us that didn’t survive, because men killed us or caused us to kill ourselves, were doing all of those things for as long as we possibly could.   

This morning, I watched a short film which chilled me. I felt the old, but familiar, creeping panic that most women who have been raped will know. It starts in the pit of your stomach and creeps through your body. Part of you wants to cry, but you don’t know whether it’s safe to do so. For me, it wasn’t, he wouldn’t let me cry.

The most appalling bit though?  The video is part of the Government’s efforts to raise awareness about domestic abuse. Launched this morning, the Enough campaign forms part of the government’s Violence Against Women and Girls strategy, which is out later this week. In the 30 second video, a snake follows a woman home from a night out, coils up her arm and sits on her phone. I watched the video in bed this morning, muted without subtitles. And the creeping panic was inside me and I wanted to cry.

Eighteen months ago, Labour were elected on a promise of halving men’s violence in ten years. As yet there has been no reduction (one would expect there to be at least a 5% reduction, if they were on track to be at 50% by 2034). Their first 100 days in office involved no sweeping changes which improved women’s lives. Refuges and support services are on their knees; some able to offer little more than phone calls to women needing life saving support.

And now? They are launching a campaign which has already traumatised one woman who has been raped. And I don’t think I’m an outlier. I went onto the Enough website and actively chose to watch the video. I dread to think of the impact on women and girls whose social media feeds present this video to them without their consent. What a spectacular own goal this government has achieved. To cause more harm to women, when claiming they can halve it!

While snakes on a plane may have been a quirky take for a noughties action film, it misses the mark so widely as a government response to what police chiefs have called a “national emergency”. The problem is not, as Samuel L Jackson would say, “motherfucking snakes”. It’s men. 

We have been travelling across the UK, speaking with women who have regained ownership of their lives after their abusive partner sought to destroy them. Each of their stories is an episode in our joyous and hope-filled podcast. They spoke of lives marred by men’s harm, but testify to strength, resilience and the sisterhood of the Own My Life course, which they credit with giving them the tools to take hold of their precious and beautiful lives, for them and any children they have.

Given how their stories reflect power and purpose, I was reluctant to share my personal experience of this film. I don’t want to reinforce notions of women as fragile and broken, unable to manage a short video. And yet, they each spoke of the power of sisterhood, of being in a group with other women who know similar pain. And so for all the women who are going to be retraumatised by this government’s campaign, I wanted to let them know, you are not broken, you are not alone; the problem is not you, it’s them.

It is bitterly ironic that the assurances we repeatedly give women, it’s not you that is wrong, it’s what he is doing to you that is wrong, are now required for women; in response to a national campaign for the government who claims they are the first ones able to really make women’s lives better.

⚠️ The Enough campaign and video can be found HERE. Please take care when watching, and an extreme warning for those with a phobia of snakes.

🫶🏼 While access to support is severely limited by government underfunding and a failure to invest, the following resources may be useful:

Rape Crisis: https://rapecrisis.org.uk (0808 500 222)

National Domestic Abuse Helpline: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk (0808 2000 247)