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The Festival of Women; Amplifying Women's Voices, but who is really listening?
Our CEO Natalie recently wrote about our commitment to courageous conversations. You can read the piece HERE. Today our brilliant Expectations Lead, Lyndsey Vaughton is bring just such a conversation! Last week, we were part of the Festival of Women in Blackpool. This was not a free awareness raising event, but rather one which cost over £100 per ticket. We had paid to have a stall at the event and we were excited to be part of an event which had been billed as celebratory and hopeful. There's nothing we love more at Own My Life than joining in with joyful women. Our experience of the event was not what we had expected, and Lyndsey reflects on that here.
by Lyndsey Vaughton
Expectations
I arrived at Lancashire's Festival of Women feeling genuinely excited and hopeful. At a time when women's safety, rights and freedoms remain under threat, a conference dedicated to celebrating women and amplifying our voices in Lancashire felt like an opportunity for something meaningful and dare I even say transformational. I was looking forward to connecting with others who share the Own My Life commitment of creating lasting change for women.
The Winter Gardens in Blackpool was welcoming, organised, and it was good to see so many organisations coming together. I could feel the hope and potential in the room. Unfortunately that hope didn’t last and I found myself becoming increasingly disheartened.
The festival’s theme was Amplifying Women's Voices, yet I couldn't lose the sense that women's voices were not always being centred. From male speakers addressing violence against women and girls, to conversations that repeatedly returned to what women should do to keep themselves safe. This left me questioning whether the conference was truly challenging the narratives that have held women responsible for men's behaviour for far too long or was it compounding them.
Listening to women? Focusing on men.
During a workshop on women's safety, we were asked to share three words describing what safety meant to us. When one delegate offered her group's words, the response was, "Those aren't the words I would use." It was a throw away comment by the workshop host, but one that stayed with me. If we are asking women what safety means to them, surely our responsibility is to listen, not correct them.
For me this response reflected a much wider concern, we encourage women to share their experiences, but when we do what happens when those experiences don't fit the language or expectations of those asking the questions?
As the workshop discussions moved towards self-defence training and education, I felt increasing frustration, education matters, and women should be free to learn self-defence if they choose. But women's safety cannot depend on their ability to anticipate, prevent or physically resist violent men. The responsibility for abuse must remain with those who choose to perpetrate it, not with the women subjected to it.
During the workshop, we also heard about funding for a male ambassadors project. Whilst I recognise the importance of engaging men in tackling the violence others of their kind cause towards against women and girls, I was left wondering where the investment in women themselves was? At a Festival of Women, I was hoping for the emphasis on funding initiatives that directly support, empower and improve the lives of women. It felt that once again the focus, and potentially the limited resources, were shifting towards men.
I left the workshop thoroughly disappointed, I was later approached by a staff member, framed as if they were checking in for the day. Although I appreciated being asked the staff member did not approach any other stalls and I came away wondering whether my concerns had truly been heard. It raises a further question, when women express frustration or challenge narratives, do we listen with openness, or do we become uncomfortable with what they are telling us?
Artwork. By men.
Later, I found myself looking at some incredibly moving artwork displayed in the hallway. The pieces told powerful stories of hope and humanity, but I was struck that the works I stopped to read about had been created by men. Their stories absolutely deserve to be told, yet at a Festival of Women, I couldn't help but wish that women's creativity and experiences had been centred.
It wasn't any one moment that left me disappointed with the conference. It was the cumulative feeling that there had been an opportunity to truly centre women’s voices, but it had been missed.
Listening to women. Finding hope.
However, I did find the hope I was looking for, throughout the day. Women approached me to share their own frustrations and disappointment. I had honest and thoughtful conversations with women who also wanted more from the day, and more for women across Lancashire. In those moments, I found the solidarity and understanding I had hoped the festival would create and made connections that can be taken forward with women speaking, women listening, women recognising each other's experiences. It's that sense of solidarity and validation which has motivated me to share my reflections here.
The day reminded me why the work of Own My Life matters so much, we want to see more women across Lancashire accessing opportunities to understand abuse, challenge the blame placed upon them and reclaim ownership of their lives. To do this it requires meaningful partnerships, a willingness to challenge established thinking and, crucially, to listen to women even when what they say is difficult to hear.
I recognise the immense effort involved in organising an event like this, and I don't doubt the positive intentions behind it. My reflections are shared not to diminish that work, but because I believe we can, and must, do better. I went to the festival full of hope and left feeling emotionally exhausted but also reminded of the strength and determination of the women around me.
Women aren't short of voices, we have always had voices, the ongoing challenge is whether those with the power to make change are genuinely prepared to listen to those voices and to act on them.
Amplifying women's voices must be more than performative, it must mean allowing women’s voices to shape what happens next.
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