Session 9 - The Power Threat Meaning Framework Part 2

Within the Medical Model, girls who are struggling might be diagnosed with depression, anxiety or a something like Borderline Personality Disorder or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.  While these labels may help girls feel their difficulties are being validated, the Power Threat Meaning Framework would seek to know what power issues lay behind those difficulties.

Maida’s boyfriend Gilbert made fun of her and calling her ‘dumb’ in front of her friends.  After sex, he told Maida her pubic hair was disgusting and that all boys hate it.  Gilbert said to Maida that no one will ever want to go near her.  Gilbert’s humiliation leaves Maida feeling powerless.  Her deep need for justice is threatened as she can’t make sense of why Gilbert would be so horrible.  His actions exclude her from feeling part of a world with people who have not been humiliated.  His unpredictable behaviour leaves Maida feeling helpless.  The idea of telling people what Gilbert has done horrifies Maida: she fears she will be seen as pathetic and that people will judge her.  At school Maida has heard boys mocking girls’ genitals and saying what they should look like.  Maybe Gilbert is right - maybe she is disgusting?

In order to deal with these threats, Maida’s brain, body and feelings will seek to make sense of what Gilbert has done.  Deciding the world is not safe, Maida becomes distrustful of others and may become paranoid about her body, who she is and what people think about her.  In order to overcome powerlessness, Maida becomes sure that she made Gilbert hurt her.  If she could MAKE him treat her badly, then that makes her feel incredibly powerful.  To deal with the injustice of Gilbert’s behaviour, Maida concludes that his behaviour is fair, because she is so bad that she deserves to be treated horribly.  To make sense of Gilbert’s rejection, Maida concludes that Gilbert didn’t mean it. She creates a new narrative where he was joking or he didn’t know that it would be hurtful.  To make sense of living in a world where female genitals are judged, Maida accepts that she is dirty and bad.

The social messages she has received leave Maida feeling disgusted at her own body, while Gilbert’s behaviour, and the sense Maida’s brain has made of it, leaves Maida feeling alienated from herself and others. She may feel resentful and angry, or totally mentally defeated.  She may shut down, leaving her feeling numb, and self-harming to try and feel again.

Under a Medical Model, Maida would be asked “What’s wrong with you?” And she might be given a label.  But there is nothing wrong with Maida. What’s wrong is how Gilbert has treated her and how society has damaged her.  By recognising this, Maida can begin the process of moving forward.

In the Power Threat Meaning framework, the process of moving forward is shaped by two questions:

1. What are my strengths?

2. And, what is my story?

Accepting that we’ve been powerless, subjected to injustice, and rejected by someone is a LOT to deal with. So too is realising we live in a world where we are demeaned and devalued because we are female. But this acceptance is the first step forward.  We can begin to make new meaning, writing a new narrative for our lives and identifying our strengths.

In her new narrative Maida may realise that she is not disgusting, dirty and to blame.  She may recognise her feelings and actions were ways of coping and making meaning.  By placing responsibility on Gilbert for humiliating her, and on society for making her feel that her genitals are wrong, she can rewrite her narrative.  Maida can reject the shame, instead placing it on Gilbert and the wider society, and she may be able to begin viewing herself as powerful and strong.

We can all begin making new meanings and writing new narratives for our lives, identifying the strengths that we have and how extraordinary we are to have made it through.

We are not the problem and we can create a new story.